Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
