Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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