do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize