Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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