we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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