jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
