I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
