Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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