i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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