Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
