Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
