You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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