and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
