Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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