Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
is it fun? or sober?
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