you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
