were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
