If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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