What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
