Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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