Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
