You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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