I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
