I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize