I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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