Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
