Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
