Banned from zoo.
Again?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize