she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
