i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
