Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
