He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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