stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize