i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
