So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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