How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
