Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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