The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Vodka?
Forever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
