And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
