i'm signing you up for texting rehab
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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