shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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