discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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