is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize