On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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