It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
