Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
