she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize