You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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