I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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