Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
