you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
