am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
its liver damage thursday
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
