Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
