Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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