can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My ass is underappreciated
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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