Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
3pm strippers are depressing
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize