Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
