I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
