But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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