nut hugger
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
