Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize