google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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