Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
