my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
