You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
