oh god the rape fog is back!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
