Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
