youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
