I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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