I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
im on a boat
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