Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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