How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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