His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This toilet bowl is my home.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
