does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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