porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
