going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it glows. i had to have it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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