wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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