What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
