Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Walk of Shame today included voting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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