last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
