Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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