Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
